NBA'd and FT'd

Dirk Nowitzki fouls All Star Power Forward David West

In a rare folly, the referees called a charge with 13 seconds left on 6'9" superstar Chris Paul who was defended by 4'11" contest winner JJ Barea. Astonished at the obviously pro Maverick refs, All Star Forward David West slammed Derrick Stafford's head against the floor and stomped on it until a pool of blood formed. After a short delay, the Mavericks missed the one techinical free throw awarded for Stafford's murder and the ensuing 2 free throws after the intentional foul (that was duly called by the refs on time to prevent a game icing three pointer). Then, with 6 seconds left, Predrag "nice cock" Stojakovic hit his first 3 since 2003 to send the game in overtime, where it was church for the Mavs without their joker European foul master Dirk Nowitzki, who pathetically fouled out with 3 minutes left in the first quarter after trying to run down the same floor as Chris Paul.

Jason Kidd vs. Devin Harris

Many people see the way Devin Harris has blossomed into New Jersey's best player and playmaker and are quick to trash the Mavs for the one the got away. However, taking a look at the numbers, style of play, and overall contribution of the players to their respective teams may give the haters a different perspective.

First, lets start with the obvious. During his time in Dallas, Devin Harris had more than 10 assists a grand total of 1 time. Since the trade, his replacement, Jason Kidd, has achieved that benchmark 46 times. Obviously, they are two different players. J-Kidd is a pass first, unselfish to a fault pure point guard. Devin Harris is a scorer who is one of the most effective penetrating point guards in the game. But, this stat is important for one reason: Consistency. During the Devin Harris years, the Mavs absolutely relied on Devin Harris to score. Without him, the Mavs were barely above league average. So why trade him?

It is safe to say in the NBA that point guard is a vital position. In his first four years, Devin Harris played 76, 56, 80, and 64 games. Over that same time period, Jason Kidd played 66, 80, 80, and 80 games. While the Mavs no doubt enjoyed Harris' playmaking ability, they certainly had concerns that his fearless ability to drive to the basket would lead to injury. Driving to the basket may be an effective way to win games, but only if you can stay on the court.

The key thing to note is that Devin Harris is a streaky scorer, but Jason Kidd is not a streaky passer. Night in and night out you get the same, consistent effort to pass the ball and do the little things right from Kidd. Devin Harris can be a non factor for 3 quarters and still end up with 20+ points. The result of that type of play is that the team has to lean on Devin Harris through the good and the bad stretches in order to get the most out of him. These good and bad stretches can literally be a quarter to quarter proposition.

For a team with championship aspirations, that type of play can be limiting to the team's greater success. It is hard to win a game if you don't know what you are going to get night in and night out.

The Mavericks main problem with the Jason Kidd acquisiton was not Kidd for Harris in and of itself, but rather a lack of understanding of the Mavs on court effectiveness. A look at the Mavs success leads you directly to Dirk Nowitzki, Jason Terry, and Josh Howard and their ability to get their own shot. If the Mavs are not playing at a quick pace, Jason Kidd is essentially useless other than being a decent spot up 3 point shooter.

Another thing that Dirk, JET, and Howard share is that they rely heavily on their midrange jumpshot which leaves a disturbing lack of players taking the ball to the basket. Unfortunately, that is the one thing Devin Harris excels at.

The solution is simple. Utilize Jason Kidd by making a strong commitment running up and down the court or bring in players who are most effective feeding off of the offense rather than creating their own offense. With respect to the second factor, the Mavs have added the perennial system product in Shawn Marion. By utilizing Kidd's passing abilities with Marion's athleticism, the Kidd trade may begin to bear real fruit.

The people who are good at basketball are good at NBA

In this picture, Hasheem Thabeet's tallass succumbs to DeJuan Blair's basketball type movements.

As the first week of NBA action gets underway, I have been keeping an eye on the rookies. Every year when basketball fans watch the draft, you can usually pick out the guys who suck and the guys who have actual basketball ability. Remember Ty Lawson, the electric point guard for the national champion Tarheels last year? Yeah it always seemed like he was pretty good at the basketball. He just got done scoring 17 points in 26 minutes in the season opener. What a "steal".



Meanwhile, when I saw Hasheem Thabeet suck a lot in college, it always seemed like he sucked. NBA GMs always told me that apparently he was tall and he therefore has "potential." 0 points 2 rebounds. Greg Oden-esque.



DeJuan Blair had 14 and 11 in his debut. When he played basketball he always seemed to A. score a lot of points B. get a lot of rebounds. That is what he did. Pretty shocking.



This basketball thing is a hard thing to figure.

Mavs take a giant opening night shit on the court

With 1:57 left in the 4th quarter, the Mavericks ran a pick n' roll involving Jose Juan Barea and Shawn Marion. The result: Marion received the ball, streaking to the basket where he laid the ball in easily. With 1:57 left in the 4th quarter, the Mavs found a way to use Shawn Marion properly. Since the game included 46:03 before that, the Mavericks ended up losing 102-91.


The bad news for the Mavs? 4/18 on three pointers looks an awful lot like last year. The good news? The culprits taking those shots were Jason Terry/Dirk Nowitzki/JJ Barea/Jason Kidd. I didn't see Devean George or Antoine Wright anywhere, which was music to the eyes.

One of the most interesting moments came in the third quarter when Drew "Talent" Gooden replaced Erick Dampier on the floor. As Talent received the ball and took a jumpshot, the ball clanged harmlessly off the backboard. But the weird thing was a brown spot seemed to form on the back of Talent's pants, and brown drops of semi solid liquid seemed be falling onto the floor underneath him. If you pause your tivo, you can see the resulting mess. That Drew, he's such a character.

In the other locker room the Wizards looked pretty damn decent. Gilbert Arenas is clearly healthy and looks like he might be able to play 20-25(!) games this year. If I were in the business of writing shocking things that probably aren't true, I would say that maybe Antawn Jamison's absence is a blessing in disguise. Jamison's interior defense is pretty non existent and the Bullets have plenty of scoring when they are knocking down every single 20 footer they take. Another interesting set of Wizard weapons are Andray Blatche and Randy Foye, who combined for 39 points on 16/28 shooting. Careful research indicates that these are the first 16 baskets that these players have ever made in their careers. Look for Washington to challenge the Cavs and Celtics for East supremacy if they continue to shoot 93% on 23 foot 2 pointers.


Maverick fan's minds must be going in a lot of different directions right now. The prudent observer might tell everyone to chill out, that this is only 1 of 82 games and the Mavs wil be just fine. The guy who sat next to me in the '03-'04 season section 332 in the corner (you know who you are) just hung himself. Probably the most wise response is to be concerned over the poor start, but just remember we will have our share of bad games this year.

Is Tim Tebow the greatest human ever?

Around the water cooler at the office where employees knowledgeably converse about manly things like sports and hunting, I keep hearing from this one moron that Tim Tebow is overrated. I'm not sure what he says afterward because I usually get dizzy and disoriented at such a suggestion.

As a sports journalist, I found it my duty to get out there and do some dirty work. So I googled "Tim Tebow yahoo" and looked at his statistics with my eyes. Wow!! 75 touchdowns and only 15 interceptions. And that doesn't even take into count his jump passes. Clearly, water cooler sports guy was plainly wrong.

I couldn't let it go though. Sure, I had proven without a doubt that Tim Tebow is the greatest football player in history (he did win the Heisman afterall), but the greater question is whether he is the greatest human ever.

When considering this topic I think about Mother Theresa, Ghandi, Schindler, George W. Bush, and Tom Brady. The problem with the first 4 are that, yeah sure they "saved lives" and were "amazing people", but they seemed to have no athletic training at all.

So then I got to thinking about Tom Brady. He has models, Super Bowl rings, and boyish good looks. He even mercilessly punished that 61 year old convict (monster) who had the audacity to steal Mr. Brady's Belgian flower boxes. Doesn't this guy appreciate what Tom Brady has done for us all?

But the problem really with Tom Brady when it comes to judging best human ever is not his football ability or good looks, it is just the existence of Tim Tebow. Among the Tebow stories include the time when he was on a South American mission trip (for the kids...) and voluntarily fed an orphaned Cuban screech owl orally until he was healthy enough to fly away. Another time while eradicating sexual predators on the streets of Tallahassee, Tebow saw a homeless man behind him while bench pressing and doing situps at the same time. Realizing that he did not have anything to eat, he yelled at him to "Get off his ass and find a job." Not only is Tim Tebow the athlete dreams are made of, he cares about the less fortunate.

Finally, when it comes to deciding whether Tim Tebow is indeed the greatest human ever, we must not forget his square jaw, thick, well deveopled abdominals, and protruding pectorals. Lets face it, the man is sex personified. The attraction that Tebow commands literally redefines the artifical boundaries of human sexuality.

The Mavs are old and can't compete with the more experienced Spurs

And there is no way to hide that the two superstars, Jason Kidd and Dirk Nowitzki, have slowed down. - Nov. 2nd NBA ESPN Magazine Western Conference preview

One can only imagine if that sentence was conjured up last spring, immediately following the Nuggets game 5 victory that sent the Mavericks packing. A big reason why the Mavs were unable to put up more of a fight against the Nuggets was that Dirk Nowitzki, a supposed "superstar", is a 31 year old unathletic jumpshooter who has a tendency to fold under pressure. The Nuggets posess one of the games most athletic and versatile defenders in Kenyon Martin. Needless to say, the matchup was poor for Dirk. Dirk struggled to a 34 point per game average on 53% shooting, 12 rebounds, and 4 assists.

So yeah, I agree ESPN, there is no way to hide the debilitating effects of age that produce a hardly fathomable 34/12/4/53% line.

Alongside the aging and mentally battered Nowitzki is new arrival Shawn Marion. Overpaid and overaged, Marion proved last year that he had lost more than a few steps when, from all accounts, it appeared that he had trouble jogging and seemed to be barely be able to dunk at times. Relying on 31 year olds is no way to compete with teams who feature the likes of Tim Duncan, Manu Ginobili, Ray Allen, Kevin Garnett, Paul Pierce, Kobe Bryant, Ron Artest, Lamar Odom, Shaquille O'Neal, Antawn Jamison, Vince Carter, Chauncey Billups, or David West.

Meanwhile, amongst the majestic rock quarries and along side the sublime calmness of the San Antonio River Walk sit the San Antonio Spurs, who very much take after their stoic surrondings. Like a fine wine, Tim Duncan continues to improve with age, his fundamentals getting better each and every year. Word coming from the Spurs camp is that Duncan's drop step is more precise than ever and he is pointing his thumbs even more downward on his chest passes, achieving the near impossible by increasing the amount of velocity and backspin on those passes. This, along with the addition of the youthful and talented Richard Jefferson, should only aid the Spurs in improving on the 2008 successful campaign. Levied by depth and experience in Michael Finley and Matt Bonner last year, the Spurs relied on the three point shot to win the Southwest Division Title. Any experienced championship level team knows that driving the lane is just inviting injury.

More good news for the Spurs is the return of Manu Ginobili. The usually durable Argentinian suffered a freak ankle injury last year when he played multiple games of basketball while running and jumping in nearly all of them.

Look for 2009-2010 to be a year that no one will soon forget. In less than a week, at 2:30 AM at a sporting arena near you, amazing will happen.

I fucking hate Colin Cowherd and Jim Rome

I am taking the blog in a new and exciting direction. You, reader, will be subjected to all sorts of random stuff I have to say, and fake retarded Mavs articles may or may not be a part of that.

Which brings me to the subject of Colin Cowherd.

If you like Colin Cowherd, I will agree to fight you. I will rip off your head and shove it up your ass, light your remains on fire, and eat them.

If you like Jim Rome I will stab you in the eye with a golf pencil and watch your eye juice ooze out. Once I am satisfied, I will leave your other eye intact so you can watch me with bad depth perception take a giant shit into a bucket. I will then take the shit and smear it into your vacant eye hole before shooting you right in the testicles with bullets from a gun.

If you like Doug Christie, then fuck you.

Included in this post is a picture of Colin Cowherd wearing a baseball helmet. He kind of looks like a gay Jack Nicholson without the tits....or talent of any kind.

Developing.....Mavs Renege On Gooden's Deal

Topeka- As a Kansas Junior, Drew Gooden averaged 20 points and 11 rebounds, leading Kansas to the National Championship. Seeking to cash in on his rare combination of skill, poise, basketball IQ, hustle, and pure athleticism, Gooden put the world on notice that he was about to arrive on the biggest and best stage in the world, the NBA (National Basketball Association).

Originally drafted 4th by the Memphis Grizzilies in 2002, Gooden has been in high demand throughout his NBA career, playing for a world leading 7 teams thus far. He often is sought after by teams due to his off the court flare and fan appeal and Gooden hasn't dissapointed. At times throughout his career, he has not only cultivated the now well known and respected "neck patch," but has also fashioned the extremely bright colored and long goatee. His opponents, frozen by his flare and sense of style, watched helplessly as Gooden drove past them, creating a wide open step back jumper, a finess that hasn't been seen since the Zach Randolph era.

Apparently seeing the light at the end of the tunnel in their search for a Center, the Mavs seemed to have landed Gooden this summer, awarding him a well deserved maximum contract of one year for 4.5 million. Mavs fan rejoiced in the street. Mayor Laura Miller broke the news from the crowd which had already assembled upon hearing the rumors, screaming parade instructions into a bullhorn while standing atop the hood of a convertible. As the fans contemplated the logistics of the parade route, all was good in Mavs land. The air, notwithstanding the stench of spilled beer and hotdogs, smelled sweet. It smelled like victory.

Meanwhile behind the scenes, the always frugal Mark Cuban had a plan alright. Apparently wanting to appease the fans with such a blockbuster acquisition but not wanting to spend the money required to do so, Mr. Cuban withrew his maximum contract offer to Drew Gooden and is instead offering the paltry minimun of 1.9 million, which approximately .004 percent of what he sold Broadcast.com for in 1986. Once again, Mavs fans are left wondering. As Gooden entertains maximum offeres from top flight franchises like the Toronto Raptors and Golden State Warriors, Mavs fans are left bewildered. First Martin Giricek and now Drew Gooden. This practice of signing centers to contracts and then not paying them for there services has to stop. Not only is it illegal, it is morally unacceptable.

An Inspiration

(YMCA)- Sometimes in life we take things for granted. So today, I'd like to take a different perspective on things. I was forwarded the story by a reader about a young man who you can find every Monday playing with the big boys at the YMCA. This young man is an inspiration. Overcoming a childhood environment saturated with drugs, alcohol, and general psychotic behavior, this young man lets go of all his worry every Monday with a few games of pickup basketball. His father was an alcoholic who often dabbled with narcotics while his mother suffered from general psyhcosis. She often would miss exits while driving and blame people irrationally for her own mistakes. Growing up in such an environment was tough. But after his father died, likely from a violent overdose of methamphetamines, he decided he was going to make something of himself.

Just one problem....the young man was dislexic.

And blind.

Steadfast, he remained determined. And while the rest of the fully functioning athletes at the downtown basketball gymnasium treated him with ridicule and disdain, he remained confident in his abilities. Then 2 days ago happened. He hit 4 threes. In a row.

Its not everyday that a writer can be reduced to tears by a simple email. But sometimes, things are just designed to touch you way deep down.

Mavs Add Tim Thomas

Tehran, Iran- As the protests wage on and bullets fly, Mavericks General Manager Donn Nelson, back from his 3 week gambling binge in Las Vegas, is hard at work. From his tiny cramped office, he peers out of a small window covered with iron grating. As he looks at the tree lined hillside, basketball is on his mind. He seems to be unaware of the the mayhem on the streets below. This is the life of a General Manager in the NBA.

"Versatitliy...no no! God Damnit we need a specialist," Mr. Nelson yells to no one imparticular. He turns abruptly towards a small artisan's desk smashed up against the wall. Perched atop it it is a stack of books. Seemingly forgetting Matt Carroll, Mr.Nelson thumbs through a 1997 media guide when he spots the name of a young playmaker out of Villanova by the name of Tim Thomas. Known for his athleticism and overall skill, Thomas is a 2 way player so good he was traded for the legendary forward Keith Van Horn not once, but twice. Donn forgets the notion of adding a specialist and instincively decides to swing for the fences.

"Get Bob Meyers on the phone," Nelson shouts. He forgets he doesn't have a secretary for a moment. Details. One look at Nelson's 3 day old beard and his tired, steel blue eyes tells a story of a tough life, one saturated with the basketball focus that is required to forge a successful NBA NBA team.

"Operator, get me Meyers now!" Donn yells into an open stapler which needs refilling. Realizing the urgency of the situation, I hand him the reciever of a nearby phone, interjecting "That isn't a phone." Finally Nelson starts out "Meyers, buddy, how's Tim doing these days?" Apparently satisifed with the response, Nelson offers him a max contract over 9 years. "What I can't do that?" Nelson is dismayed. He knows that he will likely get outbid by the Lakers at this point.

"Listen, Bob, I'll give him the full Mid Level Exception. Dallas is a great place Bob. Ever been to Highland Park? They don't have places like that in L.A." Ironically, Nelson's pleas fall on deaf ears, much like the protests outside. This wasn't Meyer's first rodeo. He had the player and he was going to play hardball. Citing NBA rules, Mr. Meyers told Donn that he could only offer him a very small contract centered around what is left of the Maverick's mostly spent MLE. Nelson relents, realizing that to add a star you have to make sacrifices.

Tim Thomas was now a Maverick. His work done, Mr. Nelson walked outside in search of a casino, a cockfight, a horse race... anything. Caught up in the swell of protesters, Nelson mistakes the passion of the protestor's as joy over the Tim Thomas deal before he remembers. It would be at least a few hours until this one hit the presses.

Mavs Lose Sonny Weems Sweepstakes

West Memphis-

Traversing the Western shore of Memphis, one can become easily distracted by sun tan oil and bikinis. But if you look past the exterior and delve into the substance beyond the glitz and glamour, you might just find something worth remembering: Sonny Weems. Long bandied about by locals and onlookers alike, Weems stands at an imposing 6 foot 6 inches tall, well above average amongst Western Memphisites. From early on, it was clear that Weems had something different, something special. Once invited to the Portsmouth Invitational Basketball Tournament, Weems averaged almost 20 points per game in highschool. Gifted by God with an array of athleticism and skill that could not be stopped, a legend was born.

A worn man in a red flannel shirt sits on a porch outside a small bait shop, his chair gently rocking, recalling the feat etched permanently in his memory. "He just rose up, laid the ball of the square and," he pauses as his gray beard sways in the ocean breeze, unphased by the man's emotion, "...and he touched the backboard at the same time the ball went in." The man still shakes his head in disbelief as he recalls the history that was made that fateful night. It was June 26th, 2005 at the Tennesee Class 5A championship. While less gifted kids focused their time on the Memphis pastimes of surfing and skateboarding, Weems was creating history. "Tapping" was born. A trip to a local gymnasium later that day confirmed my suspicion. Weighted shoes, squat thrusts...the gym is littered with a dream. Little kids pracitce on the five foot tall basket while the adults jump earnestly, outstretching their hands yet coming up short of the real backboard. Clearly, Weems was special.

What happens to the basketball player who seemingly has achieved it all? Junior College in Fort Smith, Arkansas. Plying his trade for the Lions, Weems routinely touched the backboard while laying the ball in. Sometimes he did this up to ten times per game. Impressed with his incredible leaping ability and intrigued by lucrative marketing opportunities, the Milwaukee Bucks from the NBA recently traded a blossoming star in Malik Allen to Fort Smith, who were forced to part with Weems because of the struggling economy and inability to legally pay their players.

As news broke around the basketball league of the move, the question most often asked by anonymous front office executives, but never answered, was where was Donn Nelson? From Analysts Ric Bucher to Marc Stein, the outlook for Nelson's Mavericks appeared bleak, but Weems could've changed all of that. Instead though, as Nelson spent weeks in dark, smokey Vegas gambling halls succumbing to his nasty habit, the Bucks were out in the real world, making moves. While the outlook for the Mavs remains dreary, the forecast in Milwaukee is "Sonny".

Antoine Walker fails at gambling

Another Mavs failure...

Former Dallas Mavericks forward Antoine Walker, a nightly triple double threat before coming to Dallas, has been arrested for his Las Vegas gambling debts. Once and for all this proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that the Mavs overpaid Walker, who somehow thought his money would never run out and he could just keep gambling.

Maybe he has been taking money management advice from Mavs owner Mark Cuban, who was just indicted today for stealing a website through fiduciary tactics: http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/news/story?id=4336200

Typical

Just Checked real GM and no moves....typical Mavericks.

Meanwhile David Kahn of the T-Wolves is in Spain getting stuff done AS WE SPEAK.

Mavs offseason so far

First off, Welcome to my blog! I am the number one Mavs fan on the planet and if you follow my blog you will see just why!


Lets go over the moves for the 2009 offseason so far:




#1: Drafting BJ Mullens






This is the one move I like. Before the draft I was afraid they were going to draft another white French guy by the name of Roderick Beaubois, but thank goodness they took a talented black Center from Ohio State instead. He has all of the tools and athleticism to thrive in the NBA, much like Greg Oden has for the Blazers. Roderick has struggled in summer league and proven to be injury prone, while Mullens has played in every game. Just look at the inside presence of Mullens there on the picture to your left. No wonder the Buckeyes had such a nice season last year.










#2: Resigning Jason Kidd


Kidd may be a flashy superstar name to acquire in the offseason, but the Mavs again fail to address the basketball IQ of the team. Add to Josh Howard this behind the back passing/alley oop throwing malcontent and just see what happens. We need a solid veteran like Tyronne Lue if we are going to make any noise this season.




#3: Signing Marcin Gortat to an offer sheet for the MLE (mid level exception).



What are these guys thinking. Another 4 points per game white Euro stiff. Didn't we get enough of this with Loren Meyer. Not only that, but we gave him 5 years instead of 4. This makes a huge difference, obviously.


Then they got absolutely taken by the genius of Magic general manager Otis Smith who matched the offer sheet signed by Donn Nelson. The Magic prove again to the Mavericks that brains win out over money. They now have a great backup center and solid power forward to go along with stalwart inside post player Dwight Howard. Gortat clearly has skills that the Mavericks need and they will sorely need to find a viable center like Aaron Gray or Troy Murphy if they want to compete.



#4: Signing Shawn Marion


Again, they have a quality power forward in Jerry Stackhouse that they waive for no good reason and sign this guy. As if we needed more midrange jumpshooting. This guy has never done anything in his career and the only reason he has put up career averages of 18 points per game and 10 mostly defensive rebounds is because he can jump really high. He will get manhandled down low and will have a tough time keeping up with the quick moving Von Wafer's of the world. Because of a glut at the shooting guard position, Marion will likely slide down to Small Forward, where he is clearly too small to keep them away from the rim. Another


#5: Releasing Brandon Bass to the Magic











Why would we let go of the only guy with the length and athleticism to compete down low in the Eastern Conference? My goodness. We were offering him 4 years and he wanted 5. I would've given him 6 because it doesn't matter how many years you give someone a contract since they are non guaranteed anyway. What a waste of a tremendous asset. While undersized, his tenacity and 3 point shooting ability will be sorely missed and Donn Nelson should seriously have his job questioned for such a terrible decision.

#6: Signing Lamar Odom


We already have a Center in Gortat, DONNIE. COME ON. What a waste of the bi-annual exception.



In conclusion, this team has had a dissapointing offseason so far. They likely will only win 55-60 games this year and I'm not going to lie, I'd be surpised if they even get to the Finals. I can't wait until this season starts! and then is over. Because then maybe we can finally start our long awaited rebuilding process by trading away Dirk. I don't know about you but I've had just about enough of watching him shoot 15 footers. Everyone knows that you have to score inside buddy.


Go Mavs!