Letters from Mel

Dear Lebron FUCKING James,

I heard about what you did Lebron. I FUCKING heard it. You motherfucker I will not allow it, NO I WONT. I have season tickets to the Lakers you pathetic piece of shit SEASON TICKETS YOU HEAR ME GODDDAMNIT. I'm going to slice into pieces and feed you to my dog Lebron, and you should be grateful you son of a bitch lowlife sinner. Who the fuck are you anyway? You think you are "chosen one." I'm Mel fucking Gibson. Didn't you ever see Forever Young. I can turn back time you little shit. I'll just turn it back time and then I'll fly up to Cleveland and step on you like a bug. I'll grind yo into the ground until your juices are all over my Cole Haans. Then I'll have your mother lick it off my shoes before I get my Delonte West Jersey and make her SUCK ME OFF Lebron. Did you even know I had a Delonte West jersey? Probably not, but I do. Always liked his midrange game.

You probably didn't even know until you opened this letter, you shitfuck Israelite that I am NBA fan. Well, I am not only a fan, I fucking control you and the rest of the players in the NBA. It's like Jesse Jackson said. Do you remember the movie Payback Lebron? Of course you don't. I only did that piece of shit movie so I could enjoy some fucking NBA and here you go trying to ruin it. You know what I ought to do? I should call the cops and alert them to the fact that you think you are going to live in my Florida. I own Florida you cuntass homosexual apologist. You will burn Lebron. You will Fucking Burn.

Signed,







Mel Gibson

Dear Lebron James, You are not the King of anything

Chosen1 by who? Dwyane Wade?


When you, Lebron James, made the decision to have the decision, it was clear that you are not a king, but rather a giant faggot. Taking a look throughout history, numerous kings have had homsosexual relationships with other men. Those kings are not faggots like you, Lebron. They had sex with other men because they could do whatever they wanted. They could chop of their wives heads, commit mass genocide, and...have sex with whoever they wanted, including men. That is the type of dominion, power, and control that makes a king a king. You, Lebron, are just interested in dirty, sinful, humid Miami gay sex with Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh. That doesn't make you a king Lebron. It makes you a sinner.

What is the main symbol of a king, Lebron? A crown. Do you have a crown Lebron? No. Do you know why you don't have a crown? Because you lost in 6 to the Celtics, 6 to the Magic, 7 to the Celtics, swept by the Spurs, and 7 to the Pistons. Kings are #1 Lebron. They don't get swept by the Spurs and dunked on by highschool kids in the summer. They wear the crown on top of their head because they win.

The funny thing Lebron, is that I used to like you. I defended you at the YMCA and told everyone how much more talented you were than Kobe and others. What a big mistake I made. Little did I know that you are basically nothing more than Delonte West's step son.

Report: Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh to have lots of gay sex

Somewhere deep in the haunches of a heathenous Miami nightclub in early July, Chris Bosh and Dwyane Wade laid out their sick, despicable plan that had nothing to do with money or basketball. Eschewing the more conventional Powerpoint presentations and steak dinners that most free agents enjoy, Wade and Bosh snuck off, arm in arm, looking for trouble on a sticky, hot Miami night. Sources are currently indicating to me that Wade wore not only his game used knee pads, but his full body rip protector to protect himself from the potential force generated by "Littlefoot", the nickname affectionately bestowed upon Chris Bosh, a reference to "Land Before Time", the classic story about a group of dinosaurs search for "the great valley." The Great Valley indeed.

Sparing the private details, the night was apparently so unforgettable that Bosh had found his great valley in Dwayne Wade and Miami, figuratively and literally. Early Wednesday morning, a flood of emotion flowed through the loins of both Bosh and Wade as they came out together exclusively to the LOGO network to announce that they would be repeating this disgusting rendezvous nightly.