It's time to undertake the difficult task of owning Jennifer Floyd Engel.

This post was born out of a simple Twitter comment by our heroin:

@engeljen Jennifer Floyd Engel
Hell, I wanted them [the Mavs] to win.


Here is how much she wanted them to win. Careful here Jen...don't want to be mistaken as a homer.



Forget one and done for the Mavericks; they're done

Nothing died Sunday in Portland, despite contrary reports. Nothing that was really ever real anyway.

What we witnessed with LaMarcus Aldridge and his Trail Blazers slapping an already wobbly Dallas Mavericks bunch around was just further indicators of a team limping through yet another April for another date with yet another premature postseason ejection.

The Mavs are not contenders, not for anything of any weight.

The Ben and Skin radio boys like to claim proprietary rights to "One And Done Boys" as a Mavericks nickname. By all means, it is yours, boys.

In light of recent events in LA, San Fran and, most recently, Portland, that nickname seems overly optimistic anyway. The Mavs already have clinched a postseason spot, so we have at least a playoff series to muddle through. Plans for anything beyond a trip or two to Portland, or whoever ends up as the No. 6 seed, seem dicey, at best.

All signs point to "The Done and Done Boys" or "The Looks Like 2007 Boys" as being better monikers. Or just "The Mavericks" fits, too, because with a stack of 50-win seasons and very little playoff cha-ching to show for them, Mavs basketball has come to epitomize amazing regular season, disappointing postseason.

I know stats say this is the third-best team in the West, has been all year. What the No. 3 seed does not mean is that the Mavs will be the team most likely to challenge either the Spurs or Lakers this season -- or going forward. Because unlike OKC or Portland, who are young and hungry and generally assumed to be up-and-coming, the Mavs are not a team on the rise. This is an aging team trying to slap together one last miracle run for Dirk Nowitzki -- except road trips like this latest seem to illustrate just how unlikely that actually would be.

The Lakers loss on Thursday, while hardly surprising, felt like watching a team who knew it could not win. Teams know, you know? They know when they have what it takes to make a long run, and the danger with an older team like the Mavs is the futility seeps into their game long before they see the Lakers.

Why else would you have Jason Terry confusing a cheap shot with toughness? Toughness is playing hard-nosed defense late in a game, standing up for a teammate, not being fake tough and then launching into diatribe about Matt Barnes being the Charminator when he demonstrates what tough really looks like.

How ironic for JET to be calling anybody soft, a point that Barnes made to his friends at the LA Times.

"I'm not worried about what he's talking about," he told that fine newspaper. "In Golden State, we showed how to beat Dallas. You got in there and take it right to their chin and they back down. I don't see anything has changed since then, so hopefully we will have a chance to see them again."

Get mad. Now ask yourself: Did he lie?

Did Barnes say anything that is untrue? Are the Mavs not a team that crashed and burned against No. 8-seeded Golden State in 2007? Do they not look shockingly like that team even now, four years later? Does anybody see them beating LA in a seven-game series?

Of course, it is hard to imagine them beating anybody in a seven-game series after what we saw against Golden State and Portland. What I learned via content sharing Monday was the Mavs have not beaten a Western Conference playoff team since Jan. 19, a string of eight losses against the very teams they would need to beat to actually contend for a West Finals appearance.

And while coach Rick Carlisle was busy saying, "We're not going to make excuses," his Mavs and a few loyal media friends have been firing them off with alarming speed and seeming belief in recent days.

Four games in five nights. Lots of back-to-backs.

Tyson Chandler's injury. Golden State is a tough game.

And bigger excuses like "if Caron Butler were healthy, then everything would be better/different/more likely" or desperate wishes of "if only Kobe/Timmy D/Bynum/Ginobili were to go down." And if this were the first year we had seen or heard this, sure, we might be buying it. But this is every year; every year there is an excuse as to why the Mavs were not quite good enough.

The reality is: Why does not matter. They are not, and hoping they will be is not an actual strategy getting back to a championship.

No, nothing really died Sunday in Portland.

The Mavs may win one or none but they are not going to contend for anything of any weight until they fix what has been and is still broken.

Jennifer Floyd Engel817-390-7697

Read more: http://www.star-telegram.com/2011/04/04/2974296/forget-one-and-done-for-the-mavericks.html#ixzz1PNPC2YRO

What's that you say about that "predictably" dropped in? Yours truly had Blazers in six? I admit to having little to no faith in anything beyond another first-round gag for this Mavs team.

Why does this matter for the Mavs, when a quick glance at the standings will tell you they are not slated for a Spurs showdown until the West Finals? And that requires beating Kobe, Andrew Bynum and LA first so, in other words, not likely, not happening, not based on what we saw when The Traveling Lakers Show came to town a couple of weeks ago.

What Duncan's injury does (if serious, and who knows with Gregg Popovich) is give the Lakers a teeny, tiny chance of catching San Antonio, and the Mavs a little hope for better than one and done if they fall to No. 4.

And therein lies the single biggest problem for the Mavs: Once they get out of the first round, and even that assumption feels a little dicey considering everything else feels a little déjà vu-ish, like we already have seen this movie and know how it ends.

This is nothing new. I have written it before and argued it every season with my media friends who confuse 50 Ws with a chance. They have been a good team for a long time, which can never quite seem to get over the hump. It feels like luck will be needed this go-around, too, so take Duncan on crutches and hope it leads to a seeding miracle.


Does a coaching change solve core problems for Mavericks, Stars?

Read more: http://www.star-telegram.com/2011/04/13/2999037/does-a-coaching-change-solve-core.html#ixzz1PNN8oGGg

Coaching was not necessarily the Stars' biggest problem, and certainly is not the Mavs' biggest. Not that this will stop Mavs owner Mark Cuban from laying another first-round exit at the feet of Rick Carlisle if his team does not regain its mojo from earlier this season. It is one of those realities everybody kind of knows and no one discusses.

It will satisfy a few MFFLs. And solve nothing.

The Mavericks' playoff "problem" has not been who is doing the coaching so much as who is being coached.

The first question I asked Carlisle was about my personal theory that what seed the Mavs end up with, whom they play and where they play does not matter nearly as much as how they are playing. The worry is not so much who but what we saw down the stretch -- the mistakes, the game in Houston, the lack of energy at times, the meltdowns by Jet, the lack of any indicators that they would give the Lakers or Spurs a fight.

If the Mavs lose in the first round and Carlisle loses his job, as is likely, it will be because you cannot fire 12 or they are unwilling to admit the fatal flaws of a few who constitute that number.

We beat The Blakers. One less letter and we're in the West Finals, baby.

Give Mavs owner Mark Cuban credit.

He has a point; this sunshine-pumping shtick is fun. And, really, what is not to love about this Mavs team going into the playoffs on what is now a one-game winning streak?

Even Denver coach George Karl loves this Mavs team, talking about the "great job" coach Rick Carlisle is doing with his "cute offensive stuff." Karl is not one to be a smart aleck. No, smart-aleck-ery is not in his personality at all.

Read more: http://www.star-telegram.com/2011/04/08/2986970/whats-not-to-like-about-these.html#ixzz1PNODehQr
The Mavs have not beaten a Western Conference playoff team since Jan. 19, which is a genius strategy, really. Do you see how teams like Denver and LA seem to be trying to steer clear of OKC and face Dallas as early as humanly possible?

This plays right into what I am assuming has been Dallas' plan in playing so mediocre-ly lately. A big nucleus of this Mavs bunch saw what the role of "nobody believes this team will win a playoff series" did for Golden State in 2007 and want to replicate that non-mojo, right down to having everybody chalking them up to first-round fodder.

Mark Cuban is right to question media members' unwillingness to bask in this definition of success.

Mark my words: The Mavs will not slide so far that they give up that No. 3 seed and a second-round date with LA -- mostly because OKC does not want it. Everybody is trying to avoid the team from LA that plays in the Staples Center with the really exciting league superstar that everybody is talking about.

Except the Mavs.

Who know it is not about whether they win or lose, but rather about whether the proper spin is administered.

Breaking News: Dirk to one day retire

Rumors are that whispers could soon be coming out of the Mavs locker room that the great European jumpshooter Dirk Nowitski will at some point in the future give up basketball, just like he gave up taking the ball to the basket back in 2006. Please note that these are merely rumors of whispers from the true newspaper media types with locker room access such as Jennifer Floyd Engel (sleeper with one, Star Telegram sports editor Mac Engel). Unfortunately, my press pass to the Mavs locker room has been preemptively revoked via blog by mercurial owner Mark Cuban, despite me posting approximately once every three months to a readership of 2.

In an effort to combat this oppression, I will personally be perusing ticketing website "Stub Hub" daily in order to purchase affordable ticketing to cover the Mavs playoff flop as in depth possible. At only $110 to see a playoff game and sit in the Upper Level, Section 310, Row N, the one thing you can't accuse Cuban of is denying fans an up close experience. Sure, we'd all like to sit in the lower level, but those seats are reserved for people with even more than two degrees.

On the Dirk front, my anonymous source, Tim McMahon, has informed me that this news has caused ripples throughout the Mavs organisation, who forgot to factor human components such as age into sport. It's widely believed that if Nowitski does in fact retire, the Mavs will be hard pressed to continue their "one and done" playoff performance streak, which has endeared an entire city to the Mavs for almost a decade.

What this really all means is that Ben Rogers, the lesser known sidekick & "yuck monkey" of Jeff "Skin" Wade, will likely be correct at some point down the road in that the Mavs will probably lose one day, again. He has long impressed upon his extensive listener-ship of his rumored radio program on an undisclosed station that the Mavs are done, citing multiple losses this year, including one to Portland and one to the Lakers. If they can't beat the Lakers, Rogers insists, who can they beat?

When the esteemed Jeff Caplan of ESPN.COM weighed in on the situation from his modest home in South Oak Cliff, he prophesied that the Mavs are "definitely in" on Lebron James in 2017 when he hits free agency, despite his progressing age. I sent a direct message on Twitter to James, who refused to comment, only fueling the speculation.

It's widely agreed amongst sports and basketball experts such as Randy Galloway, Bob Sturm, and Mike Bacsik that the Mavs desperately need a player like James, and that there really isn't much to play for until that happens. They cite the fact that since 2000, the Mavs have amassed nearly 3.5 seasons of pure losing, amassing 281 losses over that time frame. This is clear proof that the Mavs are in big big trouble if they happen to draw Andre Miller and the Portland Blazers in the playoffs.

Meanwhile, in other news, the Stars are fighting for the 8th and final playoff spot, and despite a recent 6-0 loss to Anaheim, they continue to fight the good fight "for each other" as the team moniker goes, and that's all we can ask for as fans. Lets all root on the Stars for their tremendous effort.

Paul Azinger Upset with Lazy Americans

Paul Azinger, fresh off his Wendy's 3 Tour Challenge appearance in the hills of rural Hawaii, has had enough. "I've been golfing for years, week in and week out to make ends meet, and these deadbeats want to live off of my dime, my earning power?" Azinger said as he struck a putt on the practice green at the prestigious Isleworth Country Club. Azinger cited the 587 tournaments over the years that he has been forced to play to feed his family. Azinger claims that he supports charities almost every week through tournaments that he plays in. "One of my favorite tournaments is the Cialis Open. There is this toys for tots program where if you bring a toy, a child gets a toy and you get a dollar off the admission fee. I signed autographs back in 1994 because I do my part. You sell something like that on Ebay, you don't even need a job." Azinger rants on about the liberal left spending agenda of America as he transitions from the putting green to the spa area of the club. Azinger himself is used to hardship, spending hours upon hours on the golf course to better America. "Look, it's not that hard. You get out on the range, and pound some balls. And pound some more balls. More balls. Balls until your hands turn raw and start to bleed. Balls until your lips get chapped and your back gets sore. It's all about pounding balls," Azinger quips, noting that he spent over 2 years at Community College learning the ins and outs of the highest political discourse in the Country.

Azinger, who has struggled with back problems all of his life, doesn't understand why the healthcare thing is such a big deal. Listen, once you spend 20 or 30 years pounding balls, healthcare is cheap. Azinger notes that his $40,000 appearance fee in 1986 from the Dubai Desert Classic more than covered his spinal fusion surgery. "Look, I'm not saying having that surgery was easy. Sometimes you can pound too many balls. But to pretend like its some sort of exorbitant cost, lets be real," Azinger moans as he steps on his GulfStream4 jet which he earned through years of ball pounding. As the flight carried on towards the Isle of Azinger, his personal retreat to get away from the grind of playing golf for millions of dollars each week, Azinger had something to say about taxes. "Kids these days. They expect the government to coddle them with health benefits and handouts to keep them clothed and fed. Meanwhile here I am paying 16 times of their overall human worth per year for just one of my properties when they haven't even ever sucked it up and pounded some balls. Just ridiculous," he went on, saying "This Obama guy isn't even American I haven't even seen his birth certificate. I guess were supposed to ignore the fact he's been enabling these minorities for years who haven't even ever seen a driving range. Listen, I'm willing to accept a little adultery or even some campaign fraud because you have to listen to your heart, but get off your ass and pound some balls Obama. He's not even Christian, you know? He took the oath of office on the Koran and was mouthing Allah Ahkbar instead of the customary oath. I'd tell you to look at the tapes but he had his government controlled liberal media erase the tapes. Typical. Not only that did you hear about that guy he talked to who did something illegal. This guy might be the antichrist," Azinger continues as a for hire private stewardess brings him a wet towel to wipe away the sweat forming on his brow, seemingly astonished at the liberal failings of America. "If you don't believe me, just ask Frank Lickliter III. You really think were both wrong about this?".

The New York Yankees are vastly superior to the Texas Rangers

Extreme journalist Filip Bondy ( fbondy@nydailynews.com ) posted an excellent article highlighting what a shit team the Texas Rangers are:

http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/baseball/yankees/2010/10/14/2010-10-14_sad_lil_home_on_the_range.html

I have penned my response as an open letter (and invitation):

Dear Filip Bondy,

Excellent article today regarding the superiority of the New York Yankees over the Texas Rangers.

I find your latin charm to an insatiable temptation. Your curly hair with just a hint of gray and that thin, yet succulent mustache. It's like Keith Hernandez and Rafael Palmerio had an ass baby and named it Fillip.

I want to ride you like a bull, Filip.
And there will be nothing mechanical about it.

We'll make the world what it really means to give the claw and the antlers.

Sincerely,

me.

A Guest Blog Post From Black Person and Food Enthusiast Jason Whitlock

Dr. King had a dream.

Everyday I wake up I'm reminded of that dream. As I walk around town on a typical morning, stopping at burger joints, barbecue restaurants, grocery stores, Subways, donut shops, Sonic (have you seen the breakfast menu?), bagel stands, soup kitchens, hell whatever, I walk around Free. Free to order what I want. Free to sit where I want. Free to write what I want. And yes my friends and readers, Free, Free at last, to eat what I want.

It reminds me of the great American hero Brett Favre. Disgusting news came out last week from a supposed sports website that Brett Favre had allegedly sent pictures of his penis to a Jets sideline reporter. I'm sickened at writers across the country have promoted the website, http://www.deadspin.com , and written constantly about the situation out of sheer self promotion, in a vain attempt to get as many website hits as possible. It's disgusting that Dr. King's dream has turned into a free for all where all the members of the leering press do is swarm like vultures around the private life of a football star, who is merely expressing his affection for a girl he loves, something they probably don't have the balls to do.

I think about those early days when No. 4 left it all on display for us to enjoy every week. The package on display was a site to behold. I'm reminded of his friendship with black defensive end Reggie White and just thinking about it brings a feeling of unity that hasn't been seen in the NFL since the great Tony Dungy, whose African American son died in tragic hate crime in South Beach. I think about Tony and the pain he must've gone through when I'm down at the Tampa Arby's enjoying a roast beef sandwich (Store 8318, sauce is extra tangy.) God I'm hungry.

Brett Favre is a true American Hero. It doesn't matter that he played in Wisconsin, is white, and likely owns a farm. When he gets sacked, he pops right up and smacks the graceful, smooth, gloriously athletic black defensive end, despite the fact his superior athleticism. Then he sends a couple of texts to him after the game. That's just the kind of guy Brett is. Dr. King had a dream and I think people forget that. As this tale of distorted, hateful, and racist journalism overtakes America today, I challenge you reader to fulfill that dream and stand behind No.4 and his full body of work.

-Jason Whitlock






Jason Whitlock writes about the sports world from every angle, but mainly just the one about race, including those other writers can't imagine or muster courage to address, because it takes a whole lot of courage to attempt to make a career solely off of writing about race. His columns are humorous because they are so bad, thought-provoking if you are literally comatose and words might snap you out of it, agenda free just like all good writing should be, honest and unpredictable, if unpredictable means that its about race.

Jason Whitlock is an African American columnist for the Kansas City Star and FOXSports.com, is widely considered the most provocative, thought-provoking and entertaining sports columnist working today. The September 2007 issue of Vibe Magazine tabbed Whitlock as “one of 40 people who will change the world.” Presidential candidate Barack Obama was also on the list.

With a column-writing style stolen from his boyhood idol Mike Royko and courage gleaned from his mentor Ralph Wiley, Whitlock has made a local and national name by boldly and insightfully addressing the most sensitive subjects in sports. Unlike any other writer in the world, he can't utter a fucking sentence without talking about race or food.

His April 11, 2007 column on Don Imus and Rutgers basketball best illustrates Whitlock’s knack for turning sports commentary into social commentary and providing a fresh outlook on a controversial topic. By fresh, he means he plays the race card once again, drawing the ire of everyone with a brain. The column, “Imus isn’t the real bad guy,” is one of the most pervasive pieces of newspaper journalism published. By pervasive, critics have clarified they mean literally so awful its offensive. It has been compared to Pulitzer Prize-winner Leonard Pitts’ column on 9/11, in that like 9/11, it's a fucking national tragedy.

If he wore a bra, his breasts would be a 36D and would likely need extra support due to their overwhelming weight. He enjoys all types of food, from filet mignon to dog food, and will eat it off the ground. He was once quoted by Charlie Gibson on Good Morning America as saying that he is staunchly opposed to the five second rule.

The column, which argued that African-Americans should examine hip-hop music’s culture of black-on-black disrespect rather than castigate an old radio shock jock, served as the foundation of two episodes of “The Oprah Winfrey.” Whitlock flew to Chicago, met Ms. Winfrey and appeared on both shows alongside rap-music mogul Russell Simmons, the Rev. Al Sharpton, New York Daily News columnist Stanley Crouch, singer India Arie and others

Mr. Whitlock can be contacted by email at BKQuadStacker@gmail.com and by facsimile if he hasn't eaten the fax machine yet this month thinking it was a filet-o-fish.

A Special Message from Governer Jan Brewer

At this time, I'd like to introduce a very special guest blogger, Governor Jan Brewer. Throughout her rise to prominence, Jan has shown that with hard work, perseverance, and faith, you can achieve your dreams. As the only governor in America without a college degree, Jan has stood on her principals of exclusion and has fought for the rights of hard working legal citizens who are openly American.


Jan Brewer:

"Thank you. I, I I...........I think that...Thank you. I no....um....no um college degree, but um......................................Listen, okay. I am amazing. .............................................................what I've done here. Um. .....................................I've changed the course of human history unlike anyone in history........................................................................................................................................................................................................Thank you."

URGENT MATTER: THE 14TH AMENDMENT

THE FOURTEENTH AMENDMENT WAS WRITTEN A SHORT TIME AGO BY SOME LIBERALS WHO DID NOT LOVE THEIR FELLOW AMERICANS. RESULTING FROM THIS AMERICAN BETRAYAL, THESE INSIDIOUS LIBERALS CAME UP WITH THE FOLLOWING AMENDMENT TO THE CONSTITUTION RECENTLY:

Section 1. All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside. No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.

Section 2. Representatives shall be apportioned among the several States according to their respective numbers, counting the whole number of persons in each State, excluding Indians not taxed. But when the right to vote at any election for the choice of electors for President and Vice President of the United States, Representatives in Congress, the Executive and Judicial officers of a State, or the members of the Legislature thereof, is denied to any of the male inhabitants of such State, being twenty-one years of age, and citizens of the United States, or in any way abridged, except for participation in rebellion, or other crime, the basis of representation therein shall be reduced in the proportion which the number of such male citizens shall bear to the whole number of male citizens twenty-one years of age in such State.

Section 3. No person shall be a Senator or Representative in Congress, or elector of President and Vice President, or hold any office, civil or military, under the United States, or under any State, who, having previously taken an oath, as a member of Congress, or as an officer of the United States, or as a member of any State legislature, or as an executive or judicial officer of any State, to support the Constitution of the United States, shall have engaged in insurrection or rebellion against the same, or given aid or comfort to the enemies thereof. But Congress may, by a vote of two-thirds of each House, remove such disability.

Section 4. The validity of the public debt of the United States, authorized by law, including debts incurred for payment of pensions and bounties for services in suppressing insurrection or rebellion, shall not be questioned. But neither the United States nor any State shall assume or pay any debt or obligation incurred in aid of insurrection or rebellion against the United States, or any claim for the loss or emancipation of any slave; but all such debts, obligations and claims shall be held illegal and void.

Section 5. The Congress shall have power to enforce, by appropriate legislation, the provisions of this article.

CAN YOU IMAGINE THE CONSEQUENCES IF THIS AMENDMENT IS ALLOWED TO STAND? I HAVE DONE A REVISION OF THIS LIBERAL PROPAGANDA TO REPRESENT THE TRUE SENTIMENT OF TRUE AMERICANS: (SEE INTERLINED)


Section 1. All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside[EXCEPT MEXICANS, BLACKS AND GAYS] . No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws. [EXCEPT MEXICANS, BLACKS AND GAYS]

Section 2. Representatives shall be apportioned among the several States according to their respective numbers, counting the whole number of persons in each State, excluding Indians not taxed. [EXCEPT MEXICANS, BLACKS AND GAYS] But when the right to vote at any election for the choice of electors for President and Vice President of the United States, Representatives in Congress, the Executive and Judicial officers of a State, or the members of the Legislature thereof, is denied to any of the male inhabitants of such State, being twenty-one years of age, and citizens of the United States, or in any way abridged, except for participation in rebellion, or other crime, the basis of representation therein shall be reduced in the proportion which the number of such male citizens shall bear to the whole number of male citizens twenty-one years of age in such State. [EXCEPT MEXICANS, BLACKS AND GAYS]

Section 3. No person shall be a Senator or Representative in Congress, or elector of President and Vice President, or hold any office, civil or military, under the United States, or under any State, who, having previously taken an oath, as a member of Congress, or as an officer of the United States, or as a member of any State legislature, or as an executive or judicial officer of any State, to support the Constitution of the United States, shall have engaged in insurrection or rebellion against the same, or given aid or comfort to the enemies thereof. But Congress may, by a vote of two-thirds of each House, remove such disability. [EXCEPT MEXICANS, BLACKS AND GAYS]

Section 4. The validity of the public debt of the United States, authorized by law, including debts incurred for payment of pensions and bounties for services in suppressing insurrection or rebellion, shall not be questioned. [ ESPECIALLY BY MEXICANS, BLACKS AND GAYS] But neither the United States nor any State shall assume or pay any debt or obligation incurred in aid of insurrection or rebellion against the United States, or any claim for the loss or emancipation of any slave; but all such debts, obligations and claims shall be held illegal and void. [EXCEPT MEXICANS, BLACKS AND GAYS]

Section 5. The Congress shall have power to enforce, by appropriate legislation, the provisions of this article. [EXCEPT MEXICAN, BLACK AND GAY LEGISLATORS WHO ARE BY LAW ILLEGAL ]